Just call me a magician.

So, Ladies and Gents, here I am, after a year, with hands full of empty.

Or, perhaps I will allow, full of a lot of invisible. For what I hold now in the palms of my hands, inside the accumulated experience, is more than I have gained in all this lifetime combined. It remains in my grasp, lessons learned, growth achieved, and spirit stronger, but so very invisible no one might notice the handful.

I sit here now, finally settling into the realization that, this relationship I poured this heart and soul into, in what I remade myself for, in what battled and overcame my proverbial demons for, in what I verily delighted in the misery of simply because heartbreak is just the other side of the coin and is still the grand emotion of love however you look at it , this relationship remains what I can’t create. I sit here now, a bit tired, from the crying I just put myself through, in order to purge the last of the blame, and I marvel at the road I just walked.

I walked a road most would have given up on.

And this year as taught me a lot, in the way of enlightenment and the reality of manifestation, and how to actually see. Not see the world, as that is just a matter of perspective, but see the inside, the you, you be in the privacy of your own skin, the you, you be inside your feelings, and thoughts, and belief systems. The you, you choose to be. I have learned to see this, this me I be. And I am grateful for the heartbreak that actually led to a concept of enlightenment, and love more strong, and the world being able to be seen based on what I wish to see.

Manifestation at work. Creation. Magic.

Just call me a magician.

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